The Sun Also Rises Here

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Hey ppl .... Greetings from the land of maple leaves, hockey and beavers :)My exodus from here has spanned long enough. Sorry but the only access to a PC with running connection is at a library and it comes with time limits so yeah .. yeah wont be going msn for awhile. until maybe next month.. need to get a laptop and shit yea..

Anyway... haha hmm it is so gray here..very dull man hahah..

When I saw the fog rolling in I thought I was in Silent Hill hahah :D



Well at least the leaves are finally starting to change their colours yea :)

As for life here.. 1st off in case you cant tell.. It is damn COLD hahah.. I've always wore a jacket in Sg, well I guess its cause heat wasn't a problem to me.. But well yeah as you can guess, the freeze would be my kryptonite yea. I am decked out in at least 3 layers a day . And the 1st night, I let my breath out and it was like that foggy stuff. I had kinda forgotten that hahah so yeah for awhile I was just there on the street at night breathing out to see my breath in chilly night like some retard hahah :D

Hmm the malls here are kind of boring though.. I put up some pics but didnt have enough time for all the pics so yeah set a link to the pics on the album section yea :) Well its mostly shops, and ususally its owned by one person and I bet that person is also there everyday . The malls dont have arcades or cinemas too :X The arcade scene here is just GONE.. Hahah and the tickets for movies here cost a bomb.. like 12 bucks a ticket dude.. its crazy.. plus the food is waaay too much hahah.. its ex but they serve the portion for like 2-3 people?.. perfect for bobo hahah.. Damn i am missing the asian food.. no more ais kacang :( hahah well they have bubble tea yea for around 3,50-4.0 per cup.


Hallelujah!

Hmm well anyway I went to town.. like city side the other day to see some buildings cause I miss them hahah.. Well everywhere I see is usually is sky or trees so I just wanted some towering buildings yea.. Took my 1st train ride too to get there which is more or less like the MRT here.. Well how is downtown? It is like the wild wild west, its just crazy haha.. people were selling drugs right on the street yea hahah. Its pretty much the hmm hookers,druggies and durians from geylang shifted to Suntec yea . so going to town.. yeah.. still havent made a trip by myself yet as the idea of me being shot as zf said.. is oh so plausible there yea.

Hmm lots of different races here .. you know like if you are Japanese in Sg or M'sia.. you're automatically unique or at least interesting ? Well here its really passe and not a big deal. I mean there are people from all over here.. I always thought my unique identity was that I moved from somewhere else and spoke mainly English, I mean those two things are everyday life here. I look around and can tell that these Canadians or Canucks hear the "Owh I'm from the other side of the world" story ALOT..
There's Russians, Turkish, Jap,Koreans and Taiwanese and just about every one really.. But I kidna realized perhaps I had to come here.. In the sense that those two ideals that I had based my identity on for the last few years in Asia were challenged here and I would be forced to really find myself in a sense right?


My messy room :D

Well faster than I thought.. its almost a month and a half already since I left Asia.
I have to admit for the past few weeks... I went off the grid .. no I wasnt that busy.. just caught up in my own traps.. I was so angry and pissed at the situation.. I mean I remember when I left KK for Sg... and all I could wish for was that.. I wished my KK frends were there enjoying it with me.. but when I reached here.. I didnt want any of my friends here .. I rather just head back where everyone was instead..

Plus the longer I stayed here.. I had some pretty bitter pills to swallow.. I talked to Ivan about it and the rest.. I think since everyone would busy endyear.. and since I can probably either only have enough $ to go one trip : so it's either endyear or next year graduation.. I really fought with this but.. yeah... I knew it would be better to go next year in the end... The thing is.. I always had this fuzzy and warm idea of just spending the end of this year.. with the people I began it with yea.. I really wanted that... well..

Hmm also for the whole month, I just kept asking all the wrong questions.. I realize now.. I was indulging in my own pity.. its really pathetic.. and yeah.. I guess I thought I was going to handle this better.. my phone.. haha.. never sees any action .. no more messaging or calls... Its just an expensive accessory.. that's pretty much my life at the moment.. but yeah I know its just for now.. but I wish just for now would hurry up.. I need to look on the bright side... the problem is right now.. I'm really trying to hard to find one yea.

I'm scared I'll always feel like a haunted house... ghosts of things long past are the only thing I'll be with and scaring away the new tenants. I'm not worried that I'll forget the frends I made as I make new ones, I learned from sg.. that theres no betrayal in that.. but... I know that distance also changes things .

I keep running back to those times and all the good and bad feelings that go along with it.. its hard.. sometimes I know looking back has its kicks with nostalgia.. I kept hiding in my most sacred, deepest,happiest times that I had left behind... I just didn't really want to acknowledge my current predicament.. In the stages of griefing there are stages, I was pretty much in denial... Looking back does make you feel nice but it does make you realize the make the present seem even worse(well in my case hahah) I think sometimes its like the screaming blister on your lip that would heal if you only stopped poking at it with your tongue.



I dont really get to talk to anyone much cause of no internet....I know I'm being immature... but I want to be back at vivo's harbour area outside, I want to look around AMK for a place to eat. I want to hear the beeping of the mrt doors as I'm going in, actually buy something from the icecream man by the amk mrt station before I walk home... I miss those little things I guess... I want to laugh at everything again. and just do it again. Most of all of course, I just missed all my friends that used to be in my everyday life. It was just hard to try and come to terms with not having them on a weekly basis.
For the month, I tried building back my faith in life again.. tried to live and not just exist.

Well... yeah... I am better now... kind of had an epiphany the other day.. realized that well.. life is still ahead. I'm sure life is going to get better eventually. I think i got the job at a subway place, with that no more window shopping and i can work to go back, go online too. I slowly made my peace with the distance at last.




What a year though... I wonder... about the future now though... not just for me.. but for everyone.. how our lives might cross or how one road will lead unto the next... when I think about everyone now... its not really just the nostalgia or the pain of not heainrg them or seeing everyday basis.. Its the notion that we only really just begun.. our lives are going to go on from school and I just wonder about it... makes you wonder where they're all going.. but yeah hahah.. the great thing is that we all have a bit more time growing up before that yea :) Well yeah anyway hahah I still miss everyone a Hell lot and yeah I finally came to terms with the distance I guess , Cheers :) Owh yeah I'm 21 :( hahah thanks for the shout outs everyone hahah.. well yeah didnt mention anything bout turning 21 cause well haha.. nothing to talk about it.. Well yeah didnt do anything very special but.. the way I see it.. I had a gathering related to me already this year at the farewell. So yeah I would definitely choose to be happy with my friends before I left than happy here alone...I think if karma needed a trade like that, then I'd be happy to do it again . Well yeah haha alritghts my time on the pc is up hahah.

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I'm 15 for a moment
Caught in between 10 and 20
And I'm just dreaming
Counting the ways to where you are
I'm 22 for a moment
She feels better than ever
And we're on fire
Making our way back from Mars
15 there's still time for you
Time to buy and time to lose
15, there's never a wish better than this
When you only got 100 years to live
I'm 33 for a moment
Still the man, but you see I'm a they
A kid on the way
A family on my mind
I'm 45 for a moment
The sea is high
And I'm heading into a crisis
Chasing the years of my life
15 there's still time for you
Time to buy, Time to lose yourself
Within a morning star
15 I'm all right with you
15, there's never a wish better than this
When you only got 100 years to live
Half time goes by
Suddenly you're wise
Another blink of an eye
67 is gone
The sun is getting high
We're moving on...
I'm 99 for a moment
Dying for just another moment
And I'm just dreaming
Counting the ways to where you are
15 there's still time for you
22 I feel her too
33 you're on your way
Every day's a new day...
15 there's still time for you
Time to buy and time to choose
Hey 15, there's never a wish better than this
When you only got 100 years to live

Labels: Happenstances, Useless Rants

Where I End and You Begin 7:12 am